Tightrope
by JustJinxed
Summary: The last time they really saw each other, she rejected him. Now, he's thrown everything away for her, and she's been waiting for him. Can they really give each other what they both want? Companion piece to "Mine".


**Tightrope**

Rain splashed her face as she spun, cracking her staff against the makeshift dummy she had made for herself. Barely blinking, she spun again, striking it _once, twice, three_ times. Every time her mind wandered into thoughts of him, she struck. Which meant, of course, that the dummy was much worse for wear than when she first started. It had been a month since she had heard or seen Ben. She felt him still, as the Force kept them connected, but as soon as she thought she felt him through a passing breeze or a whisper in the night, he was gone. Was he not coming for her, as he said he would? A low rumble of thunder shook her chest as she cried out, knocking the head of the dummy to the ground with her staff. She sank to her knees in the mud, her hands barely gripping the wood of her weapon as she finally let her body give into the exhaustion. Her head drooped and a sob involuntarily escaped her.

Their loneliness had connected them. She was so good at keeping the feeling locked down before she met him, she could bury it underneath a layer of anger. She was so angry all the time. Now that she had tasted what it was like to, maybe, however briefly, not be alone in this world...the thought of not being able to really have it was devastating.

Perhaps she was selfish to have those feelings...She knew she had people, had friends. Finn, Poe, Rose...Chewie, General Organa, she felt sure that they would do anything for her. What she had with Ben, though...it was different. It _felt_ different. Other than their undeniable attraction to each other, she felt as though they were truly linked...by more than just the Force. They understood each other somehow. What she felt for him now was a stark contrast to what she felt when they were standing in those snowy woods together. She made no excuses for his actions, but knew he could do his best to right his wrongs. Some things would not be so easy...all she knew was how she felt, and she truly felt like they were supposed to be _together_.

Suddenly something shifted – a feeling in her chest. She stood, eyes squinting through the downpour. She felt him. _Right?_ Or was she going crazy? She hadn't heard anything, no ships, no crashes. Nothing. Had she been that distracted that she had missed his arrival? Or was this just another cruel trick her mind was playing on her?

Her weary eyes finally rested on a dark figure that had emerged from the treeline. Her heart jumped into her throat.

 _Ben._

Every muscle in her body was taught, senses aware of every move he made. She watched him as he slowly made his way towards her, deflecting the raindrops so that he was a stark contrast to her, soaked to the bone. He seemed just as tense as she was, his eyes barely giving away the fire that burned inside of him. Knuckles white, she clenched her staff and kept her eyes focused. Rey realized that when she had asked him to come to her, in her fit of tears, she hadn't really thought it through. She knew who this man was through their bridge, but she thought of what happened the last time _she_ came to see _him_ after they had connected. He nearly offered her up on a silver platter to Snoke...but that wasn't fair. That had been different. Snoke had a hold on him, abused and manipulated him for so many years. That was so long ago, they barely knew each other then. Since then, they had _months_ of late night talking – yes, it tended to morph into feelings of desire, but that's what came with loneliness. You desire to be with someone...in every way possible. They had genuine heart to heart conversations, for the most part. For every difference they had, they found twice as many things that they had in common.

This was different, though.

This was the first time that they had seen each other since she rejected him on Snoke's ship. What had he done to get here? Was he truly alone? She couldn't sense anyone else if she tried, her entire body hummed at how close he was. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run to him – but what if she did, and he changed his mind? The thought felt like a sharp blade in her chest. She remembered the first time they had touched hands, and decided to take the same approach. He would come to her.

Ben stopped only a few feet away. Not enough to feel the warmth of him, but enough to see his eyes clearly. He was silent for a long moment.

His tone was soft, an attempt to make himself sound void of emotion, as he tilted his head, "Do you always have such poor survival instincts?"

She knew what he meant. She had left herself unguarded, and she was standing in the rain, soaked to the bone. Who knows how long she had been like this? She'd lost count of the hours. She hadn't noticed him until he was already upon her. Words escaped her for a long while as she stared up at him.

"Are you really here?" She asked, feeling stupid, but she had to be sure. Suddenly the rain stopped falling around her as he extended his reach, shielding her from the weather as well. Maintaining his solemn expression, he gave a short nod.

Another tense silence fell upon them, both of them using this opportunity to feel the other out. From Ben, Rey sensed...apprehension. Desire. Anger...fear. He was afraid. So was she. Was he afraid of the same things that she was? It was so easy to imagine themselves together when it _was_ just themselves together, but now entire galaxies would have an opinion. As their silence stretched out, she sensed him attempting to shut her out, and she stepped forward.

"How did you know where I was?" It was a genuine question, though she asked him to come to her, she had not told him how to find her. If it was that easy, how had she managed to stay hidden for so long? Something in that question seemed to make him emotional, but he attempted to give nothing away as he kept his eyes on her's.

"I could feel you." His voice was thick with emotion that his face did not reflect. It hit her in her gut and she felt tears well up in her eyes.

"I wasn't sure if you would be able to make it." His jaw clenched and he leaned ever so slightly towards her, though they were still much too far apart for her liking.

"Nothing...could stop me." The still air around them was so thick, it felt like she was suffocating. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms and have him claim her right where she stood, but that wasn't reasonable. Her head was just in a fog – this wasn't some fairy tale, they needed to make sure they had their ducks in a row. That line of thinking flew out of her head when her tears spilled over and she stared into those smoldering, amber colored eyes.

"... _Ben"_ She managed to choke out, and that was the only invitation he needed as he closed the distance, crushing his lips to her's. Rey dropped her staff and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cold, wet body up against warmth. He held her close, his kiss bruising at first, then softening to the sweetest thing she had ever tasted. His hands ghosted from her rib cage, down to her waist. Unable to help herself, she rocked her hips against his and his grip on her tightened as he pulled back, just enough to breathe.

"Come with me." She said, hurriedly pulling her staff to her and turning in the direction of her cabin. He released her and followed, keeping a noticeable distance between them.

Rey burst through the door to her small cabin and turned to face him. She watched his eyes scan the room, anxiety rising in her chest as he closed the door behind him, but didn't move further inside. Warily, she lit a flame in the fire pit to try and warm the air, which had turned icy cold. Or maybe that was just her.

"Ben?" She finally asked from her spot by the fire.

"This is where you've been?" When he's visited her. She knew what he meant. His eyes still avoided her.

"Yes." Rey was finding it harder to breathe now, the air was so full of him, but he felt far away again. "Ben, what happened?" His eyes found her's, and for a second he looked much like how she had imagined him, back before he had been so used by Snoke, or felt so betrayed by his family. He had been a young man once, unburdened by guilt or fear. She wondered how long ago those days actually were.

"The Knights of Ren...they felt the Force shifting, after Snoke's death." Her eyes widened. She had wondered about the group, where they had gone, or if they were even still alive. "They knew that they had been manipulated."

"That you all had." She made sure to reassure him. Slowly, he nodded.

"The First Order is being...repurposed." That statement was all that he supplied as he stared impassively at the fire.

"Ben," Rey started, finally moving closer to him, placing herself between him and the fire. "What does that mean?" His eyes found her's, but he still had his guard raised so _damn_ high.

"The Rebellion is safe...from them. For now." Happiness bloomed in Rey's chest, and she tried to stop a huge smile from bursting across her face.

"Are you serious?" He gave a slow nod, though his expression didn't lighten. "Ben...that's _amazing_!" She beamed at him and stepped closer, but he moved away, towards one of her windows, away from the light of the fire. "What's...what's wrong?" She asked, unable to hide the hurt written clear across her features. "Why are you acting like you don't want to be near me now?" She felt a little whiplash...had he not just dismantled The First Order for...for her? Sure, he may have wanted to do it, but wasn't it really set into motion by their desire for each other? And that kiss outside...should they have just stayed out there? What had changed between then and two minutes ago?

He pushed a gloved hand through his dark hair and leaned against the wall, his expression clearly attempting to mask the chaos he felt inside. She could feel some of them...he was afraid again.

"Why are you afraid?" She couldn't stop the question before it left her lips. Anger and desperation sparked in her chest. "Are you having second thoughts about me now?" Confusion furrowed her brow. "Do you not...do you not want to be with me anymore?" It was a thought that never occurred to her until now. She couldn't even fathom not wanting him...but what if he really didn't want her? What if he was only intrigued by their link, but now that he was here, it wasn't so special? What if he left her...what if she was alone again? _Truly_ alone?

"Rey." He spoke her name, and she knew he understood all of the thoughts she just had. "I..." That's when she saw them, what she had seen a few times before. Those unshed tears brimmed in his eyes, so dark and focused on her. Every time he looked at her, she felt as though she was the only person in all the galaxies. She wanted nothing more than to hold him close, forever. His gaze fell to the floor again as he mustered up the courage to continue his thoughts. "You're the one that should be having second thoughts."

"What?" Her brow furrowed, completely at a loss as she took a step closer to him. He held his hand up, asking her to stop.

"You said it yourself before...I'm a monster. The things that I've done..." He stopped, his voice too thick with emotion. "They're unforgivable. I can't ask you to be with me."

"You don't have to ask." Rey stepped closer to him so that he was only arms length away from her, his eyes found her's again, still conflicted and agonized. "I already am."

"Rey..." He whispered, eyes pleading with her. She could tell expressing his thoughts like this was difficult for him. "I can't make you any promises of what a life will be like with me. I don't know what's going to happen."

Her heart fluttered.

A life with him?

"The only promise I need..." She held her hand up, mirroring the first time they touched through their bridge so many months ago. Instinctively and without breaking eye contact, he pulled off his glove. In an almost timid way, he brought his fingertips to her's. She couldn't hide the small smile that tugged at her lips. "..Is that I have you."

Overcome, Ben blinked and a few tears spilled down his cheeks. Rey wanted nothing more than to brush them away, but she knew she needed to wait for him. If she rushed forward too quickly, he could close up again, completely shutting her out. It would destroy her.

"You have me." He answered, his voice still thick. Briefly he glanced at her lips and she took that as her invitation. She gently pulled on his hand and moved it to her heart, letting her feelings show plainly on her face. She was not afraid.

"And you have me."

Slowly, he moved closer, closing the distance between them completely. He gazed down at her, eyes burning so deeply that she felt as though there wasn't anything he didn't know about her. She could feel his warm breath against the cool skin of her cheek. She remembered now that her clothes and hair were still soaked. Had his gaze roamed anywhere but her face, she might have felt embarrassed, the way the fabric was clinging to her.

"Is this truly what you want?" He asked, his voice soft. Rey fully believed that, had she said no, he would have left. That was, if the thought of saying no could've ever crossed her mind.

" _Yes_ , Ben." She moved his hand from her heart to cradle her cheek, still not breaking his gaze. "I have never wanted anything more." And, to her surprise, she meant it.

Before she knew it, he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. It made her heart flutter again...then a different kind of flutter, lower in her belly. Feeling an unfamiliar, but instinctual confidence rise up inside of her, she buried a hand in his soft, thick hair and took control of the kiss – licking and sucking gently at his bottom lip. How many times had she thought about combing her fingers through this beautiful hair of his? Heat rose in her cheeks as her mind went somewhere wicked, and she moved one of her hands to his stomach, wishing there weren't so many barriers between them. Ever since they had visited each other when he was less than decent, she wanted to know what he felt like. She imagined him standing in front of her shirtless, in her bed, on top of her...She tugged on his hair and pressed her hips against his and he pulled back, out of breath.

"Rey...we should stop." He moved his hands to her arms and she looked up at him, half dazed.

"What?" She asked, blinking. "Why?"

"I know..." He started, and she would've laughed at the embarrassed expression on this so-serious man, if she wasn't still trying to fight herself out of the lust filled haze she was in. "You haven't done this before." A blush burst across her cheeks, but she let him continue. "I know that we... _talked_ about it." She could've laughed. _Talked_ was an interesting word choice. "I want to make sure that you're ready, and that you're sure."

"I am sure." She insisted, leaning in to kiss him again. Ben held her firm, a patient look on his face that surprised her.

"You're not thinking clearly right now. It's okay if we wait." Her jaw clenched and she took a step back, determination in her eyes. He watched her hands undo her belt and let it fall to the floor, then her scarf...then her jacket. So that all she was left with was her thin undershirt, which still clung to her like a second layer of skin. She felt an exciting bolt of confidence shoot through her as she saw the lust there, reflected in his eyes when they took in the sight of her nipples, hardened by the cold and arousal she was feeling throughout her body.

"Rey-" She interrupted his half-hearted protest.

"I know what I want, Ben." She slowly undid the bindings on her arms, watching him. "I have been wanting it for a very long time." The bindings fell to the floor and she waited for him to make his move. She knew and appreciated that this conversation was for her benefit, but she wanted to make sure it was what he wanted too.

"Tell me what you want, Rey." The lustful tone of his voice made heat pool between her legs. Realizing she was about to _get_ what she wanted, she smirked, deciding to play a little. In her times of waiting, and after her encounters with him through the Force, she had imagined how it would happen, when they were finally together. Teasing him was always her favorite idea. She stepped away, sitting near the fire and began slowly taking off her boots.

"You've already seen into my mind, Ben..." She glanced up at him underneath her lashes and saw him undoing his belt, letting it fall to the floor. He was so enthralled by her, she wasn't sure he realized what he was doing. "I think you know what I want." She removed both of her boots and watched as he shrugged off his jacket now, exposing that beautiful, powerful chest she wanted to pay so much attention to. She stood now, not bothering to hide the desire in her eyes. "I want you...in every way possible."

Ben was across the room in the blink of an eye and she was hauled into the air before she could process it. Instinctively, her legs wrapped around his waist she crushed her lips to his again. She felt something solid and cold against her back and she realized he had her pressed up against the wall. He ducked his head to her neck and she hummed softly in pleasure at the new sensation, digging her fingernails into the skin of his shoulders as she desperately clung to him.

"You shouldn't tease me." He warned between kisses. "It's already taking everything I have to keep from taking you on this floor." He sucked at the tender skin of her neck as punishment, quickly kissing the bruise forming there.

"What if that's what I want?" Rey gasped, impatiently grinding her hot center against his growing erection. He growled and before she knew it, she was thrown flat on her back, the softness of her bed breaking her fall. Ben was on top of her in an instant, his lips demanding her attention again as his rough hand slipped up her shirt. His fingertips trailed her rib cage as he kissed down her neck, not stopping until he nipped at her breast, straining for his attention beneath the fabric.

" _Ben_." She found herself whimpering, impatiently. For the first time, she saw a boyish smirk cross his face and he pulled her wet shirt off from over her head, his hot mouth instantly lavishing attention on her nipple, massaging the other with his large, gentle hand. Rey buried her hands in his hair and writhed in the attention, gasping when she felt one of his hands slide beneath the waistband of her pants. He moved back up her body and cupped her cheek in his hand as he kissed her, pressing a long, thick finger between her wet folds. She gasped into his mouth and rocked her hips at the new sensation. She felt his thumb brush her clit as his other finger began to move inside of her and she groaned at the tension building inside of her. He adjusted himself so that the was lying beside her and kicked off his boots, watching her in adoration and desire.

"Does that feel good?" He asked quietly, kissing her jaw.

" _Yes_ " She groaned, impatiently turning on her side so she could kiss him. Without thinking, she slid off her restrictive trousers and hooked her leg around his hips. "I want to feel you."

"Not yet," He said, sliding a second finger inside of her, despite the awkward position his wrist was in. He brushed a kiss to her jaw, as her mouth fell open at the new sensation. Uncomfortable at first, but she was so wet and warm, her body tried quickly to relax and accept all he could give her. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't _care_ if you do." Rey said, breathless as she neared orgasm. She reached down and unhooked the top restraints on his pants and Ben grabbed her hands, pinning her wrists beneath his forearm as he pressed her back into the blankets, pumping his fingers in and out of her, thumb rubbing her clit until she cried out as she came. He cursed under his breath and held her to him as she quivered in his arms, her body still rocking with aftershocks of her orgasm. When she opened her eyes, she saw him gazing down at her with quiet adoration.

"Beautiful." He whispered, and she smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

"Let me see you." She asked, fingertips trailing down the soft skin of his chest.

"You should rest."

"I don't want to, we're not finished yet." Rey felt a new determination rise in her chest as she started to sit, but Ben pushed her gently back against the bed. He slipped off the end of the mattress, and finished unfastening his pants. Her eyelids felt heavy with lust as she watched him take his hard cock in his hand, stroking it a few times while he watched her. In that moment, Rey felt her inexperience. She wasn't sure what to do, but she was captivated by this man. She found herself sitting on her knees, then crawling closer to the end of the bed, so that she could press kisses to the scars and burns that she saw littering his chest. He hissed as her kisses lowered, and he leaned down to kiss her, scooting her further back up the bed. He towered over her, his large, powerful body dwarfing her by comparison. His eyes roamed her body, then her face.

"Are you sure?" In response, she reached between them and brushed her fingers against his cock, then wrapped her small hand around it, trying to replicate what he was doing to himself. Ben hissed out another curse and rocked into her hand, resting his forehead against hers. Closing her eyes, she tilted her hips up so that the warm tip of him was brushing against her wet entrance. She felt him begin to press into her and sighed in pleasure and excitment, but he stopped.

"Rey." Her eyes flew open and met his. Studying her carefully, he moved her hand away and repositioned himself, pushing inside of her slowly until every inch of his thick cock was buried deep inside of her. Rey groaned as her body tensed, a mix of pleasure and brief, uncomfortable pain before she relaxed as it became accustomed to the size of him. Experimentally, she rocked her hips and he shuddered, face dropping into the crook of her neck. She adjusted herself, wrapping her legs around him, causing him to pull out of her a little and they both groaned in pleasure. Bringing his head up to meet her eyes again, he brushed her hair out of her face and began moving in and out of her, slowly at first, then quickening his pace as she began to meet his thrusts.

Rey panted and buried her hands in his hair, holding on for dear life as her mind dulled with pleasure. She could tell that he was trying to be gentle with her, which warmed her heart...but she didn't want him to hold back. She wanted to _feel_ him. " _Harder_ " She pleaded, and he obliged, slamming into her at a bruising pace, his face buried in her neck again. She felt that tension building quickly inside of her again and found it hard to quiet her moans with each thrust. Ben wrapped his hand gently around her neck and she focused on him again, hands grasping his sides like she was about to float off of this planet. His expression was of a man completely undone, and it shot more bolts of lust straight to her clit. She whimpered and he groaned, giving her a messy kiss.

"Come for me," He quickened his pace and she gasped, at the edge. "I want to feel you come around me." Her whole body tensed as she came hard, her nails digging into his back. He cursed and followed, hips slamming against hers a few more times, before he spilled himself deep inside her.

Ben collapsed onto her for a moment and she found that she loved the feeling, his solid weight pressed against her. Using what strength he had, he rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. She felt a blanket drape over them and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head as her bones slowly began to feel solid again.

Neither of them were ready for reality to sink back in yet. Their future was so uncertain, all she wanted to do was hide him away from the rest of civilization. She knew they couldn't stay where they were much longer, The Rebellion would come back for her once they heard the news of The First Order. She wasn't sure how long they had. She knew that he would have to answer for his crimes to someone, eventually...right? The thought made her stomach turn. He's the one that seemingly ended all of this...but what about the past? Would everyone be willing to forgive him?

"What are you thinking?" His tone was soft, but his body was tense. She turned her head to look up at him, seeing a brief flash of nervousness and uncertainty in his eyes. It made her smile, wondering how he could possibly feel insecure after what just happened between them. She turned and brushed some of his hair away from his eyes.

"I love you." His eyes widened slightly as he processed this statement. It was the first time she had truly said it to his face. A ghost of a smile curved his lips, and Rey nearly melted on the spot.

"I love you, too."

Notes: Did you guys choke on all the fluff? Seriously, are you okay?  
I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED.  
You know I like a lot of tension, but this fic felt different...I dunno.  
Initially, I planned on a Dom!Ben, but for some reason, as I was writing, Rey was like "nah girl, lemme get on that"  
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought if you get a chance!  
More from me is on it's way :) 


End file.
